Dangerous Allies

LookingToSee —

i wrote this poem quite a while ago..(maybe more than a year, can't remember clearly) so even i dont understand some of the things i wrote, it was an english homework, an "extended metaphor", and I know it needs redrafting but I can't find those feelings anymore so I'm just going to post it raw, feel free to comment.


Dangerous Allies


I've been shot

------------------and it's dark outside

the pain is throb-throb-throbbing

streetlights too far apart

clar—ity

through the swallowing darkness


what's that?

Everything's blurred, mixed-up feelings

Pain, Night

Hallucinations, Shadows

Broken dreams, Suffocation

Scars, Loneliness

Seeing things that are not here.


This Confident Fear

the premature end is so close, so easy...

---------------------------------------------So is the bedlight

But where is help? and where is the switch?


Protection is needed, so very vulnerable

Walking alone through the tunnel, looking down in the night

Guardian/Angel


Peaceful Blindness

I can't see, it's dark, it hurts

But now I've got time

At last I can rest

I can grow up, mature, strengthen

I have time to think, to reflect


The unknown...

stand up tall, pick yourself up

For now you are stronger

Then you will ever be

For when you have felt pain and you have overcome fear...

What can stop you?


You — Sat, 8 May 2010 - 22:17

Cannot really comment on the poem, but on the question of being shot and lying there... I think that would result in a loss of blood and hopefully a loss of blood results in a light headed feeling where things don't matter. peace.


Or it could be an awful thing where you are writing in pain while the life slips out of you.


You — Sat, 8 May 2010 - 22:18

Wait, does this remind anyone else of the opening scene in "Reservoir Dogs"?


(That popped in my mind, but there is some other scene from somewhere else in my mind that this is reminding me of. I just cannot remember what.)


LookingToSee — Sun, 9 May 2010 - 17:02

see?? thats imagination!!


and you're not suppose to take everything so literally doctor, you sound like you're ready to jump in my poem an take the person to hospital!! (but you might be right in the lightheaded thing...)


the poem was suppose to be an extended metaphor, i think it was depression is like the night and i guess the shooting part goes with the depression part... or the shooting IS the depression as in guetting shot by depression,


does anything ive said made sense? im just going to be quiet now.