Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
This thread is for jokes, poems or any inspirational stories (hint hint muslim kuri!)... so here goes......
Generous lawyer
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."
The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.
"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."
On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
[quote="Constantine"]To the Romans Sleep and Death were brothers[/quote]
Agree with Seema they are cuz we believe our soul leaves our body and enters the body when u wake up also when you suddenly jolt in your sleep thats when the soul re-enters the body.
Sleep and death are same in another context, they both can come at any time!
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
[quote="seema*"]well they are arnt they[/quote]
[quote="angel"]
Agree with Seema they are cuz we believe our soul leaves our body and enters the body when u wake up also when you suddenly jolt in your sleep thats when the soul re-enters the body.
Sleep and death are same in another context, they both can come at any time![/quote]
Whoa I didn't know that, thanks ladies!
...kinda makes you think twice about sleeping.
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
i always thought the sleep was the cousin of death
theyre brothers now :?
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
Not that you guys are not thankful...but just to remind u lol 😉
Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary
Because it means you've made a difference.
It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also
thankful for the setbacks.
GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they
can become your blessings. 😛
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
[quote][color=red][u]Udaas Dil[/u]
aaj phir dil hai kuchh udaas udaas
jaane kyun ek mayusi si chhayi hai
aaj phir palkon pe pani hai
bheer mein hoon phir kyun ye tanhai hai [/color][/quote]
[u]Upset Heart[/u]
Again today the heart is upset, upset
Wonder why it is overcast with depression
Again today there is water in the eyes
I am in the crowds yet why am I still alone.
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
i got an upset heart
i know why its depressed
i got water in my eyes
im home alone
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
salaam
Sand and Stone
A story tells that two friends were walking through
the desert. During some point of the journey, they
had an argument, and one friend slapped the other
one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt,
but without saying anything, he wrote in the sand
Today my best friend slapped me in the face.
They kept on walking, until they found an oasis,
where they decided to take a bath. The one who had
been slapped got stuck in the mire and started
drowning, but his friend saved him. After he
recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone
Today my best friend saved my life.
The friend, who had slapped and saved his best
friend, asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in
the sand, and now,
you write on a stone, why?"
The other friend replied "When someone hurts us,
we should write it down in sand, where the winds of
forgiveness can erase it away, but when someone
does something good for us, we must engrave it in
stone where no wind can ever erase it.
Learn to write your hurts in the sand and to carve
your blessings in stone.
wa/salaam
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
[quote="Darth V-Hayder"]i always thought the sleep was the cousin of death
theyre brothers now :?[/quote]
Nope, sleep is the sister of death, I think its quoted in the Quran or Hadith can't remember which.
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
salaam
..What Allah Says to you..
You say "It's impossible"
Allah says All things are possible
You say "I'm too tired"
Allah says I will give you rest
You say "I can't go on"
Allah says My grace is sufficient
You say "I can't figure things out"
Allah says I will direct your steps
You say "I can't do it"
Allah says You can do all things
You say "I'm not able"
Allah says I am able
You say "It's not worth it"
Allah says It will be worth it
You say "I can't forgive myself"
Allah says I FORGIVE YOU
You say "I can't manage"
Allah says I will supply all your needs
You say "I'm afraid"
Allah says I have not given you a spirit of fear
You say "I'm always worried and frustrated"
Allah says Cast all your cares on ME
You say "I don't have enough faith"
Allah says I've given everyone a measure of faith
You say "I'm not smart enough"
Allah says I give you wisdom
You say "I feel all alone"
Allah says I will never leave you or forsake you
You say "Nobody really loves me"
Allah says I love you
May Allah Be Pleased With all muslims Ameen
wa/salaam
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
You Say: I want to order a Pizza, watch a movie and not do my homework
God Says: Do your homework and succeed
You Say: No i'm serious here I just wanna chill
God Says: I'm serious too - and i've got lightning bolts
You Say: Gotcha
God Says: I know
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
lol
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
A Beautiful Hadith
Khalid ibn al Wald (Radi Allahu Ta'ala anhu) narrated the following hadith:
A Bedouin came one day to the Holy Prophet (sallallahu 'alahi wasallam) and said to him,
'O, Messenger of Allah! I've come to ask you a few questions about the affairs of this Life and the Hereafter.'
- 'Ask what you wish' said Rasulullah (sallallahu 'alahi wasallam).
Q: I'd like to be the most learned of men.
A: Fear Allah, and you will be the most learned of men.
Q: I wish to be the richest man in the world.
A: Be contented, and you will be the richest man in the world.
Q: I'd like to be the most just man.
A: Desire for others what you desire for yourself, and you will be the most just of men.
Q: I want to be the best of men.
A: Do good to others and you will be the best of men.
Q: I wish to be the most favored by Allah.
A: Engage much in Allah's praise, and you will be most favored by Him.
Q: I'd like to complete my faith.
A: If you have good manners you will complete your faith
Q: I wish to be among those who do good.
A: Adore Allah as if you see Him. If you don 't see Him, He seeth you. In this way you will be among those who do good.
Q: I wish to be obedient to Allah.
A: If you observe Allah's commands you will be obedient.
Q: I'd like to be free from all sins.
A: Bathe yourself from impurities and you will be free from all sins.
Q: I'd like to be raised on the Day of Judgement in the light.
A: Don't wrong yourself or any other creature, and you will be raised on the Day of Judgement in the light.
Q: I'd like Allah to bestow His mercy on me.
A: If you have mercy on yourself and others, Allah will grant you mercy on the Day of Judgement.
Q: I'd like my sins to be very few.
A: If you seek the forgiveness Allah as much as you can, your sins will be very few.
Q: I'd like to be the most honorable man.
A: If you do not complain to any fellow creature, you will be the most honorable of men.
Q: I'd like to be the strongest of men.
A: If you put your trust in Allah, you will be the strongest of men.
Q: I'd like to enlarge my provision.
A: If you keep yourself pure, Allah will enlarge your provision.
Q: I'd like to be loved by Allah and His messenger.
A: If you love what Allah and His messenger love, you will be among their beloved ones.
Q: I wish to be safe from Allah's wrath on the Day of Judgement.
A: If you do not loose your temper with any of your fellow creatures, you will be safe from the wrath of Allah on the Day of Judgement.
Q: I'd like my prayers to be responded.
A: If you avoid forbidden actions, your prayers will he responded.
Q: I'd like Allah not to disgrace me on the Day of Judgement.
A: If you guard your chastity, Allah will not disgrace you on the Day of Judgement.
Q: I'd like Allah to provide me with a protective covering on the Day of Judgement.
A: Do not uncover your fellow creatures faults, and Allah will provide you with a covering protection on the Day of Judgement.
Q: What will save me from sins?
A: Tears, humility and illness.
Q: What are the best deeds in the eyes of Allah?
A: Gentle manners, modesty and patience.
Q: What are the worst evils in the eyes of Allah?
A: Hot temper and miserliness.
Q: What assuages the wrath of Allah in this life and in the Hereafter?
A: Concealed charity and kindness to relatives.
Q: What extinguishes hell's fires on the Day of Judgement?
A: Patience in adversity and misfortunes.
Related by Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (Rahmatullah Ta'ala 'alaih)
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
A duck walks into a bar and asks: “Got any bread”?
The Barman says “no”
Duck says: Got any bread?
The Barman says: No
Duck says: Got any bread?
The barman says: No we have no bread
Duck says: You got any bread?
The Barman says: No we have no flipping bread
Duck says: You got any bread?
The Barman says: No are you deaf? We havent got any flippin bread, ask me again and i’ll nail your flippin beak to the bar you irrating ****** of a flipping bird
Duck says: Got any nails?
The barman says: No
Duck says: Got any bread?
(get it? if your really bored you’ll find it funny, had to edit some of the words as they weren’t appropriate)
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
[quote][color=red]ishq sabhi ko jeena sikha deta hai..
wafa ke naam pe marna sikha deta hai..
ishq nahi kiya to kar ke dekho,
ye hasthe hasthe aansu peena sikha detha hai[/color][/quote]
Love by itself teaches one how to live,
In the name of loyalty it teaches one how to die.
If you have not loved then love,
It teaches to swallow tears with laughter.
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
A guy walks into a bar.
The second one ducks
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
salaam
wah wah mukarar irshaad (to meds poem)
that is sweet
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
[quote="Saadia Khan"]salaam
wah wah mukarar irshaad
that is sweet[/quote]
is that to me, or dave's comments on duck?
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
[quote="Med"][quote="Saadia Khan"]salaam
wah wah mukarar irshaad
that is sweet[/quote]
is that to me, or dave's comments on duck?[/quote]
lol seeing as my comment isn't sweet i'm guessing it's you
Stand up and take a bow Med!
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
like dave sed cant be to his so has to be you
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
[quote="Constantine"]A guy walks into a bar.
The second one ducks[/quote]
dont get that? must be american sense of humour :twisted:
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
[quote="Constantine"]
lol seeing as my comment isn't sweet i'm guessing it's you
Stand up and take a bow Med![/quote]
lol, my bow is only for God.
[color=green]patta patta boota boota haal hamara jaane hai,
jaane naa jaane, gul hi naa jaane, baagh to saara jaane hai[/color]
every leaf, every plant knows my state,
if something does not know, it is the rose,
the entire garden is aware.
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
[quote="angel"][quote="Constantine"]A guy walks into a bar.
The second one ducks[/quote]
dont get that? must be american sense of humour :twisted:[/quote]
lol the fact that you don't get that tells me 2 things 1. you aren't familiar with some differences between american and british words, and 2. you are a devout muslim
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
[quote="Constantine"]
lol the fact that you don't get that tells me 2 things 1. you aren't familiar with some differences between american and british words, and 2. you are a devout muslim[/quote]
Well i am familiar with the differences between american words and british words (get my american mate to teach me, cuz most of the time when she talks i am like "huh, come again" or maybe i am just exagerating) secondly duno bout devout Muslim but i sure haven't been to a bar ever, maybe thats why i dont understand the joke....do explain or it may just not be funny to me :?
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
fact
sucha mehboob woh hota hai jis ki burey aadatein bhi achi lagtey hain
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
[quote="Constantine"][quote="angel"][quote="Constantine"]A guy walks into a bar.
The second one ducks[/quote]
dont get that? must be american sense of humour :twisted:[/quote]
lol the fact that you don't get that tells me 2 things 1. you aren't familiar with some differences between american and british words, and 2. you are a devout muslim[/quote]
lol. cum on angel. bar as in a piece of wood or wotever. that was a crap pun dave. 😛
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
[quote="Aasiyah"]
lol. cum on angel. bar as in a piece of wood or wotever. that was a crap pun dave. :P[/quote]
oh right :oops: , see i knew i wasnt gona find it funny!
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
Ishq karne ke bhi kuch adaab hooa karte hain
jagtee aankho ke bhi kuch khwaab hooa karte hain
har koi roh ke dikhayai ye zaroory tho naheen
khushq aankho mai bhi sailaab hooa karte hain
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
ye hamari bhad-naseeby jo naheen tho aur kya hai
ke ussee ke ho gayai ham
jo na ho saka hamara
Jokes/Poetry or anythin alike!
[quote="Darth V-Hayder"]ye hamari bhad-naseeby jo naheen tho aur kya hai
ke ussee ke ho gayai ham
jo na ho saka hamara[/quote]
hayder brother is LURRRVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEE SICK!
oh bechara! is hayder diseased? i can provide u with some MEDication to get over her, I assume it is a her, if it aint stay AWAY from me, u hear me?
k. May ALLAH reward you for the invite Respected Muslima, but I think I will take a raincheck.
May ALLAH keep us all in His protection.
ameen